Why do I have to study? I hate studying. I am worried. I have so much on my mind. I've wrote about thinking before. I think I think too much. See I think again.
I'm worried about my exam. There's so much too do and I know I'm not doing my best. I keep lying in till noon when I would force myself to get up. Sometimes even later. Then when I actually start which will be about 2pm I would on the TV while doing what I'm suppose to do. Today is already Thursday and I spent the "whole" of yesterday and today doing the questions from three past years papers. Even then I didn't do it without refering to the book. I don't know whether did I get anything or not.
There's so much to remember. I'm scared that the same thing will happen with the last test. I haven't be so worried about an exam before. I only have Friday, Saturday and Sunday left to study for my Monday exam. I still have a Friday test. I need more than 3 days to study for that. So, if I split up my days evenly I only one day left for my Monday exam and the other 5 days for my Friday test.
Only ONE DAY LEFT. Tough. And I'm not doing anything now. Blogging instead. Bad. I finished watchin TV at 9.30 and have been reading blogs instead of continuing studying. I am now lying on the bed with the lights off blogging.
Bad. Bad. Bad.
And I keep thinking how will I spend my semester 'break'. I have two assignments due that week plus I have to pack bags to get ready to move. haih.. More thinking.
I'm glad that there's ICF tomorrow. I can relax. I need to relax my mind. I know I can talk to God anytime. I don't know. I guess i just need to be around people for a while. I've been alone besides my flatmate who comes out for a minute since last week. I have seen Merilyn a few times but its still lonely.
I tried getting up early yesterday and today but I couldn't do it. I was too sleepy. Therefore tonight I will try to sleep early. Then I can get up early tomorrow and have a nice long day ahead of me. That's the plan. If I get up at 7am (not so early actually) I can lazy around until around 10 before I will feel bored which I can then start studying.
argh! frustration!
There's also nobody to talk to besides God. I can confide in friends but I'm not much of a talker. I'm more of a writer. When I talk to friends about personal things, I always feel that I can't bore my listener. Then I will stop talking and listen.
Blogging. Sometimes its hard to blog too. Because you know who is reading this. And like my Multiply one, I have quite a lot of people reading it. So I have to be careful although I know that its my blog and I can do anything i want or write/type anything i want, somehow there's still something watching over me that i will not write something 'unpleasant'. i have church friends, relatives that are not christians, friends that are not christians, muslims, sometimes its hard. like if i want to write something questioning christianity, i KNOW i can do it but if i do it, the people who are not christians will be put off and the people who are christians will .. i don't know, do something.
its not that i don't want to but sometimes people can be so sensitive. like another friend of mine. i just put something up without the intention of hurting people's feelings, some people just can't take it. since then i've been a bit more careful. which is why i have other blogs that are not known to others.
life.
i still hate studying. studying. what is studying? present particle to the verb study. what is study then? to acquire knowledge on a subject through concentration on prepared learning materials. interesting huh? i don't actually know what studying is. to me studying can be from reading the materials, doing homework, doing assignments, and not just extensive notes taking. i mean doing homeworks and assigments do help us in our exams don't they unless you don't do them on your own.
okay im done with blogging. i have more to write but.. mood has gone. i just needed to write about the exams. im doing anymore studying tonight. tonight is clubbing night so i doubt i can get much sleep. already last night it rained the whole night and the whole of today!!! so menyampah!
ish.
im feeling orangy
I'm worried about my exam. There's so much too do and I know I'm not doing my best. I keep lying in till noon when I would force myself to get up. Sometimes even later. Then when I actually start which will be about 2pm I would on the TV while doing what I'm suppose to do. Today is already Thursday and I spent the "whole" of yesterday and today doing the questions from three past years papers. Even then I didn't do it without refering to the book. I don't know whether did I get anything or not.
There's so much to remember. I'm scared that the same thing will happen with the last test. I haven't be so worried about an exam before. I only have Friday, Saturday and Sunday left to study for my Monday exam. I still have a Friday test. I need more than 3 days to study for that. So, if I split up my days evenly I only one day left for my Monday exam and the other 5 days for my Friday test.
Only ONE DAY LEFT. Tough. And I'm not doing anything now. Blogging instead. Bad. I finished watchin TV at 9.30 and have been reading blogs instead of continuing studying. I am now lying on the bed with the lights off blogging.
Bad. Bad. Bad.
And I keep thinking how will I spend my semester 'break'. I have two assignments due that week plus I have to pack bags to get ready to move. haih.. More thinking.
I'm glad that there's ICF tomorrow. I can relax. I need to relax my mind. I know I can talk to God anytime. I don't know. I guess i just need to be around people for a while. I've been alone besides my flatmate who comes out for a minute since last week. I have seen Merilyn a few times but its still lonely.
I tried getting up early yesterday and today but I couldn't do it. I was too sleepy. Therefore tonight I will try to sleep early. Then I can get up early tomorrow and have a nice long day ahead of me. That's the plan. If I get up at 7am (not so early actually) I can lazy around until around 10 before I will feel bored which I can then start studying.
argh! frustration!
There's also nobody to talk to besides God. I can confide in friends but I'm not much of a talker. I'm more of a writer. When I talk to friends about personal things, I always feel that I can't bore my listener. Then I will stop talking and listen.
Blogging. Sometimes its hard to blog too. Because you know who is reading this. And like my Multiply one, I have quite a lot of people reading it. So I have to be careful although I know that its my blog and I can do anything i want or write/type anything i want, somehow there's still something watching over me that i will not write something 'unpleasant'. i have church friends, relatives that are not christians, friends that are not christians, muslims, sometimes its hard. like if i want to write something questioning christianity, i KNOW i can do it but if i do it, the people who are not christians will be put off and the people who are christians will .. i don't know, do something.
its not that i don't want to but sometimes people can be so sensitive. like another friend of mine. i just put something up without the intention of hurting people's feelings, some people just can't take it. since then i've been a bit more careful. which is why i have other blogs that are not known to others.
life.
i still hate studying. studying. what is studying? present particle to the verb study. what is study then? to acquire knowledge on a subject through concentration on prepared learning materials. interesting huh? i don't actually know what studying is. to me studying can be from reading the materials, doing homework, doing assignments, and not just extensive notes taking. i mean doing homeworks and assigments do help us in our exams don't they unless you don't do them on your own.
okay im done with blogging. i have more to write but.. mood has gone. i just needed to write about the exams. im doing anymore studying tonight. tonight is clubbing night so i doubt i can get much sleep. already last night it rained the whole night and the whole of today!!! so menyampah!
ish.
im feeling orangy
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