A decade

It has been 10 years. 10. Ten. Sepuluh. Chap. Sei. Shi. Pretty sure all these pinyin are wrong.

It has been ten years since father died. At the beginning, memories just flood in whenever I go into hospitals or watch hospital related shows. Now, I just block it. In that ten years, boy did I wish I could ask daddy for advice. Wondering if he would approve of the choices I've made. Wondering if he would ask me to choose differently.

Watching friends and brother getting married, wondering if I ever will (not too much wondering) and missing the daddy component of walking me down the aisle. I think when I first realised that, that hit me the hardest.

I had all sorts of plans for this ten years post. Obviously, things never go as plan.

Lots of things have had happened in the past ten years. Beginning with the most recent life changing thing, brother got married and moved to Singapore. There's also a dog in the house now. En is no longer in the house. Mother looks after babies and children now. My room is no longer my room. I've bought a house in Christchurch. Our PJ house has also gone through some changes. So did the town I used to live in.

I've discovered I'm definitely not an immaculate housekeeper like mother. Don't think brother will live up to that standard too. Haha. I really do enjoy working with the children and at the church. I do realise that I've been filling my time up with every single thing that I just need the time to rest now.